No Initiative
by Love's Bitch
Summary: A short sillyfic; the real reason Buffy never loved Riley.


TITLE: No Initiative  
AUTHOR: Love's Bitch, a.k.a. Kristin L. M.  
DISCLAIMER: Credit where credit is due, Joss is God, Grr Argh, etc. I only wish Spike were mine.   
DISTRIBUTION: If you like it that much, you are my new best friend! Just let me know where it's going.   
RATING: PG-13 for vague references to sex.  
SPOILERS: Takes place during The I in Team.   
FEEDBACK: Better than drugs! Will you help feed my addiction?   
SUMMARY: A short sillyfic; the real reason Buffy never loved Riley.   
DEDICATION: To Richess and Hilary, my partners in crime. And to everyone else who is glad that Riley is gone.   
  
  
Buffy walked into her dorm room the next morning, tired and anxious. She barely had time to notice that Willow's bed hadn't been slept in either, when her roomie walked in behind her. They shared an awkward 'hello' and a brief conversation.  
  
"Out all night?" Buffy asked, indicating Willows made bed.  
  
"You, too." The redhead nodded at her roommate's bed.   
  
A short uncomfortable silence filled the room and Buffy just couldn't take it. She needed to talk to Willow about what had happened the night before, with Riley, and she guessed apologizing was the first step.   
  
"I'm sorry about bailing on you guys at the Bronze..."  
  
"Yeah, that's...I'm...don't worry about it."  
  
"Really? Cuz I feel awful, and after what happened when I left, I really need you to not hate me right now."  
  
Suddenly, concern for her friend forced Willow's entire grudge away. "What happened? Are you okay?"   
  
Buffy, realizing she'd made something not so dire sound like the end of the world, tried to back-pedal. "No, I mean, yeah, I'm fine, it's just..."  
  
Willow sat down on her bed and motioned for the Slayer to join her. "Why don't you tell me?"  
  
The petite blonde sat down on the bed and took a deep breath. "Well, after we left you guys - sorry again about that - we went and fought this Polgara demon. Killed it, all good and dead, but then, Riley and I were still kinda...worked up?" She looked at her friend pointedly to see if she'd catch on.  
  
"So, what, you fought or something? I don't see how...oh. Oh!" The redhead's eyes grew wide with her realization. "You mean you and Riley, you...well, you know. You do know, since you were there." Willow asked excitedly, "So tell, how was it?"   
  
"All right, I guess." Buffy tried not to sound indifferent, but really, after his performance, the only other option was disappointment.   
  
"Alright?" Willow looked a little shocked, "Just alright?"  
  
"Well, it started out good, you know, heat, passion, all the good stuff, but then...well, its like Xander said about that Gachnar demon at Halloween. Biiiiiig overture...little show?"   
  
Willow couldn't suppress a small giggle, "Wow. I mean, I would have expected more from him, he seems so...virile."  
  
"Yeah he does, but you get him in bed and he's completely lost. I mean, its not like I'm an old pro or anything, but dear god! I yawned, Wills. I actually yawned."   
  
"The poor guy. Did he even notice?"  
  
"Nope. He just kept on truckin'." Buffy rolled her eyes. "I swear, good sex is just out of the realm of possibilities for me. Every time I have it, it's punctuated by bad events, or its just plain bad itself."  
  
"Oh, come on, Buffy, I'm sure it'll get better," the witch tried not to laugh at her next words, "Maybe he just needs practice..."  
  
Both girls laughed out loud for a moment, but Buffy pulled out of it first. "My mom even has better sex than me...she says Giles was a stevedore last year during that band candy incident." She wrinkled her nose and saw Willow blush some.  
  
"You talk to your mom about her sex life? Too much information for me."   
  
"No! God, no. I accidentally read her mind when I could. You know, the 'thinking the last thing she wanted me to know' thing? Oh yeah. I know why she wanted to keep it to herself." Buffy smiled wanly. "Do you want to know the worst part?"  
  
Willow nodded enthusiastically. She was glad her and Buffy's little non-fight was over. Plus, talking about sex was fun, whether it was good or bad.   
  
"I was so bored at one point, after I finished counting the cracks in his ceiling - 43 in all, in case you wondered - I started trying to fantasize about other men. I mean everyone popped into my head..." Buffy paused, wondering how much to divulge. "Like, everyone I've ever met...if one person didn't work, I moved right on to the next..."  
  
Willow looked on, a little amazed. "Angel?" Buffy nodded. "Parker?" She nodded again. "Xander?" Her friend nodded again, looking ashamed. As Willow asked after another, her voice got quiet. "Giles?" Buffy's eyes squeezed shut and her nod became almost imperceptible. "Buffy!"  
  
"What? It was only for a second. If it helps any, the thought of him only made it worse. I could just hear him in my head sounding all stuffy and British, saying, 'Now, pay attention, Buffy.' It was awful." The Slayer scrunched her nose at the memory. "Xander's image didn't help any either, cuz I kept hearing Anya saying, 'You can't have Xander, he's mine.' Oh, god Wills, you haven't heard the worst of it...even Snyder crossed my mind, and it actually helped!"   
  
Willow gasped, "Buffy, that's beyond wrong!"  
  
Buffy shook her head vigorously, "Oh, no, not like that, ew! I pictured kicking his ass, and that was a great turn-on." She smiled shyly, the lightest blush reaching her cheeks. "Eventually I hit on someone who actually got me through the rest of it, though."  
  
"I'm not sure I want to hear this." Willow cringed.  
  
"I'm not sure I want to say it." Buffy joked. "It was...well, it was Spike." She winced a little, waiting for Willow's reply.   
  
Willow just laughed. "Oh no, maybe I didn't do a good enough reversal for that 'will it so' spell."  
  
Buffy caught the giggles as well, "Actually, that's what I thought of." She gave the shy look again, embarrassed. "He's just a much better kisser than Riley, so I tried to imagine him as a much better lover. What can I say? It worked."  
  
The girls laughed again, and both were breathless with hurting sides before their fit had passed.  
  
"At first, I thought, 'maybe it's the Slayer thing.' You know, extra stamina, whatever. But the thing is, Parker isn't a superhuman or anything, and it was good with him." Buffy got a far off look and said wistfully, "Actually it was great with him, but we won't go into that melodrama. So I guess, it was just Riley."  
  
Willow was thinking hard, trying to put her next question delicately. "Was it a problem with...you know...equipment? Or was it...uh...technique?"  
  
The blonde considered this carefully before answering. "A little bit of both, I guess. I mean, it's not like he's small or anything, but you see those great big shoulders and...well let's just say it's disproportionate. In a *little* way." She scrunched up her nose again as Willow stifled a giggle. "And the technique...I think someone forgot to sit this boy down and explain that the point of sex is for *everybody's* pleasure. I mean, he went straight to my breasts and hovered there. Hello! I have a mouth all ready for kissing! Not to mention hundreds of other areas known as erogenous zones..." Buffy shook her head, disgustedly. "I think I left this morning more frustrated then when we got to his place."  
  
"You mean, you didn't...well, you know..." Willow was blushing wildly, but Buffy was playing dumb, trying to get Willow to say the word. "Oh, come on, you know!"  
  
The Slayer just laughed. "No, I didn't. But you know, I've seen 'When Harry Met Sally...' enough times to fake it pretty well." She gave a short re-enactment of the diner scene in the movie. "Oh...yeah...Oh god!" Both girls burst into giggles again.   
  
"So is this the end of Mr. Finn?" Willow asked, a little sad. He was a nice enough guy.   
  
Buffy thought for a moment. "Well, maybe we'll just be friends." She smiled, "I know that's cruel, but I have to have some satisfaction in my short Slayer life."  
  
Just then the phone rang, but Willow said to let the machine get it. They were having a great time bonding over Riley's lack in performance and if it was important, they could just call back.   
  
"You've reached Buffy and Willow...leave a message." BEEEEEP. "Hey, Buffy. It's Riley. I just wanted to call and say hey, and...um...well, I had a great time last night...and I was kinda hoping we could...you know...do it again sometime..." As if he realized what he'd said, he quickly recanted, "I mean see each other again, not *do it*, you know? Ah, hell. Give me a call, ok?"   
  
The girls looked at each other for a split second before erupting into another loud bout of laughter. "He should go back to the farm and practice on the cows," Buffy giggled.  
  
"Ew!" Willow screeched, still laughing herself. "Oh, wait! I know...maybe he's Professor Walsh's 'aid' in more than one way!"  
  
"Wills!" Buffy was shocked, but couldn't help chuckling at her friend's idea, "Oh, yeah, I bet there's more experimenting going on in that lab then on demons..."  
  
"We should ask Spike if he got molested while he was in there..."   
  
"That's probably why Maggie started the Initiative...a whole army of boys to play with!" Buffy cocked her head in thought, "But then, I wonder why Riley's her favorite..."  
  
Willow started laughing again, "She has such high standards in the classroom, and maybe she thought she'd cut him some slack in bed..."  
  
"He certainly didn't rise to the occasion," Buffy rolled her eyes at her own bad pun.   
  
There was a comfortable silence between the two once the laughter died down and both knew that they were okay again. It always helped to have one of these heart-to-hearts after a fight.   
  
"So tell me about this fantasy with Spike?" Willow prodded, suddenly interested.  
  
Buffy looked slightly ashamed again for a second, but as soon as she started the details, all shame was forgotten. "Well, his hair's all messy, which is really cute, and he's wearing this unbuttoned blue silk shirt and these really tight black leather pants...."  
  
  
THE END  



End file.
